it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Don't make out with my wife yet
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
