you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
