If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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