Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pee on everything he values.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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