Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm passing your future prison.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
