Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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