Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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