apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
