So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
