Whod you bang
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
