There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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