i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
