3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
