im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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