Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I have post one night stand depression
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