Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
