Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
