Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize