Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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