Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
