if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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