This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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