Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
