first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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