I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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