READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
