Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
if only i could text you this smell
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
