Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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