it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
