who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
