I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
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Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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