I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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