I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize