Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
