What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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