"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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