Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
