he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
