Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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