I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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