why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
