haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
