She just used a chaser for red wine.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
