I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
