Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
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standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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