loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
