Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
