I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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