I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
