There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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