do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
