Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize