Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
