I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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