At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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