But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
