I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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