it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
