I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
