after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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