I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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