oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
