Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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